Happiness = Never say yes

Ok, this posting is about my mind in a repertoire which is done in 19 december ago. Yeah, it is known as familiarity night. My friends from side B created this night as ways to know more with the senior.

I hate this fake time.

I seems like stupid girl in a hectic envi. Okay, I don't want to judge people around me. Everyone have already tried to succeed this night. There is dangdut, the original music of my country, corn toast ... and all the friends..

Overall, it's success but for me it's a mistake in choosing. Before attending this repertoire, I had to choose between this and SAR practice.. Already choosen, and yeah..MISTAKE..

hiks, I don't get the feel and the message. So, I just like spending my time useless out of the real purpose. oh yeah, I never hate them. but I'm still feeling that they don't accept me.. Okay, I'm not the same like other friends.

I really want be a good sister for all. I'm in diffcult situation to make myself comfort and felt acceptable there. This is not a lie. It's why I'm rare in our house. Because it's not easy. If it's just in one side, I thought that my effort is useless.

I love my side b, but it kills me slowly. I'm still in difficult to erase the thinking of not acceptable. Because it's proven with many things. I hate. I don't have my happiness there. Should I just say yes for all things I felt? or No?

So do I